Cee Smith offers a poem on bravery, pain and facing things head on. A humble reflection on interactions with those fighting for Palestine against the genocide.
By Cee Smith
The picture they circulate
Is the one with the ‘smile’ on her face
At the gesture of a sandwich and a bottle of water
As if they did not have food and water
As if that is the point
And I think of all the times I have smiled
When inside
boiled with rage
cringed with fear
winked at the irony
I see this picture and I wince
At the way I hear other folk
describe her face
Many hours after I woke
and watched
The video from their boat
When all I was searching for
Was something cute
to yawn to
I am loudly conscious from 5am
Refreshing pages
This is all I think about
How long it could take
To sail from capture point to port
I am embarrassed at my pronunciation
Of keffiyeh
In the shop on Victoria road
He repeats it to me
I repeat it back
I know I am still wrong
He starts to explain why they are for sale
And I smile because I know
He is kind
I walk by daily
But today
I have cash in my pocket
It is a gift
An excuse
To bring myself to go in,
Interact, participate
And mispronounce
Awkward and shy.
It’s a small thing
I hold my breath
Until the new picture replaces the old one
A tired face
A grim face
A dirty face
The face that will not turn
away
From injustice
Hypocrisy
Genocide
I tell myself to be a little braver
In this and in all things
And I smile
Cee Smith is a poet and historian from Glasgow, Scotland. She co-hosts Flourish, a monthly poetry open mic night in the city. You can find her work on Instagram (@moonisagrass and @flourishpoetrynight).
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